You’ve decided you want to make some changes. Maybe you want to lose weight, get stronger, or just improve your health overall. Maybe, you even realize how much your health is currently impacting your bedroom life…
There’s just one problem.
You don’t want to do it alone.
You want your partner to join you.
But how do you say that without making them feel like you’re secretly saying, “Hey, I think you need to lose weight”?
It’s a delicate conversation, and one that can go very wrong if you approach it the wrong way. The good news? You can invite your partner on a shared health journey without making them feel criticized, ashamed, or like their current body isn’t good enough.
Start With Yourself
The first rule?
Don’t make the conversation about what’s wrong with them. Make it about what you want.
Instead of:
“I think we both need to get in better shape.”
Try:
“I’ve been thinking a lot about my health lately, and I really want to start making some changes. I’d love it if we could do this together.”
That one little shift makes a huge difference. You’re not assigning them a problem. Instead, you’re inviting them to be part of something with you.
Make It About Feeling Better, Not Looking Better
Yes, you might both want to lose weight. That’s okay. But leading with, “We should lose some weight,” can immediately put someone on the defensive.
There are plenty of other reasons to start a health journey together: More energy, better sleep, fewer illnesses, shared hobbies that require you both to be more active, and even having the *ahem* stamina you need in the bedroom.
Don’t Surprise Them With a “We Need to Talk”
Timing matters. For instance, don’t bring it up immediately after sex. Or as soon as they’ve just arrived home from a stressful day at work. Plan a time when you are both in a good headspace and can allot the proper time for this conversation.
Also a shared health journey should feel like an opportunity, not an intervention. Don’t start with, “We have something serious to discuss.” The more light-hearted, yet factual, you can remain during this conversation, the better.
You could say something like:
“I’ve been thinking about making some changes to feel healthier and have more energy. I was wondering if you’d ever want to do something like that together.”
Then stop talking.
Give them room to think and then respond.
Be Honest About Why You Want to Do It Together
There’s a good chance your partner may immediately wonder:
“Wait… do you think I need to lose weight?”
Don’t get defensive.
And don’t respond with an overly enthusiastic, “NO! Of course not!” followed by an awkward silence.
Be honest.
Try something like:
“I love you, and I’m attracted to you exactly as you are. This isn’t about me wanting you to change. I’ve just been thinking about how good it could feel if we both focused on taking better care of ourselves and did it together. And how much easier it would be for us both to have each other’s support.”
That message is important.
Your partner should understand that your attraction to them isn’t conditional on their participation.
You aren’t saying:
Change so I can want you.
You’re saying:
Let’s invest in ourselves, and maybe have some fun doing it together.
Give Your Partner a Choice
This part is critical. A shared journey only works if both people actually want to participate. You can make the invite and share your reasoning. But you can’t (and should never want to) force your partner to do something they don’t want to do.
And honestly, trying to pressure someone into losing weight, exercising, or changing their body is probably going to create resentment instead of motivation.
There are many reasons why they may decline your offer to get on board. Weight and health are deeply personal topics that require people to address them in their own time and their own way. Many times, these conversations can plant seeds for the future, when maybe your partner is more ready to get on the health train with you.
Find a Goal That Actually Excites Both of You
Here’s where things can get fun.
Forget the miserable “we’re never eating carbs again” approach. Or, “We are going to run together every single night!”
What if your shared health journey actually had something in it for both of you? Some fun ideas you guys want to explore together for a fun shared goal include:
- Prepping for a 5k or similar run/race
- Celebrating a certain health milestone with something special, like a vacation or fun night out
- Learning how to cook and meal prep together
- Decide that you’re going to try one new thing a month together, like a fitness class or a new healthy recipe
Don’t make it drudgery! This is supposed to be about bringing you closer together, not making you both miserable and resentful.
Remember: You’re on the Same Team
If your partner agrees to join you, don’t turn it into a competition. Don’t compare who loses weight faster, criticize what your partner is eating, or feel like you need to become their personal trainer. While it’s amazing you guys have decided to go on this journey together, it doesn’t have to be about perfection or nit-picking.
You’re teammates.
Celebrate the wins together.
Go for the walk.
Try the new recipe.
Take the workout class.
Celebrate when your clothes fit differently.
And yes, enjoy the confidence that can come from both feeling good in your bodies.
A Health Journey Can Be an Investment in Your Relationship
The truth is, relationships change when you intentionally do something together. You learn amazing new relationship skills, like how to better encourage each other, communicate, and celebrate the wins.
And you get to watch each other become more confident, which can be so attractive…
A shared health journey isn’t about looking at your partner and deciding they aren’t good enough. It’s about looking at the person you love and saying:
“I want us to feel good. I want us to have energy. I want us to enjoy our lives. And I want us to keep feeling amazing together for as long as possible.”
At Better Bedroom Body, we believe your health, confidence, and sexual wellness are more connected than most people realize.
Whether your goal is weight management, improving your overall wellness, addressing sexual health concerns, or simply feeling more confident in your own skin, the journey doesn’t have to be something you take alone.
And if you’d like some help along the way, we’re just a click away at https://betterbedroombody.com!
